Forgiveness

We hear a lot about forgiveness don’t we. It’s a much bandied about word, and I believe that many of us – me included really understood. I am not a religious person, nor

am I trying to convince anyone of anything. Just thought I would blog about it, as in my studies of various forms of psychology, it is a useful thing to do.

In my experience it does NOT mean being a doormat, nor does it mean going back to get hurt again. Not for one minute.

Everything I have studied in NLP points to us being at cause of our experience, rather than being at effect of it. Therefore a definition of forgiveness I would choose would be one that seeks to empower the person doing it.

The best definition I have found comes from one of my favourite teachers, John Gray, and he says forgiveness is the releasing of the tendency to hold others responsible for our plight in the world.

In other words, we can make an empowering decision, or a dis

empowering one. At “effect”, or “victim”, we would say, or believe “You hurt me so I cannot get what I want” . At cause , we would say “You hurt me, and I deserve more, and I can get more”. One empowers you, the other does not.

I have also heard it described as “enlightened self interest”, and in the light of this insight, that kind of makes more sense does it not?

And being empowered feels so much better doesn’t it!

 

 

 

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